I’m becoming less hopeful and as the date of my flight back to Munich is looming, so does my anxiety. I had a couple of errands this week that made me very distracted. I only managed to finally decide on a color for my personal website and it’s literally just one color that I feel I wasted time thinking about it if I will just come up with something simple. Lol.
Anyway, I tried applying to a lot of intern posting and I think reading all the qualifications crippled me as it filled my thoughts that I won’t get a job any time soon. It’s either a bad combination of 1.) perfect job, bad location 2.) perfect job and location but requires German. I am not regretting any bit of my career decisions but damn, now I am lost where to go. Of course I know what I am good at and what kind of job I’ll definitely nail, but unfortunately, without German knowledge I won’t get it anywhere, so I’ll have to find something else. And my level at this ‘something else’ is so low, that as someone working for a while now, it frustrates me to go back to square one in my late 20s. Sigh.
Nevertheless, I spent a super fun weekend outdoors with some friends and it was hella fun. It was so fun that we barely took pictures the whole trip. I know that after this trip I won’t get this fun anytime soon (in at least a year, to be precise) so I don’t regret going on a dopamine overload.
Sigh. I plan to cram the hell out of things in terms of output in my last 2 weeks. Things aren’t looking great, kitty girl!